dance to glorify his name (:

2007-09-09T19:20:00.000-07:00

Into Your Hands, I commit again
Iwith all I am, for You, Lord
You hold my world
In the palm of Your hand
And I am Yours, forever

Jesus, I believe in You.
Jesus, I belong to You.
You're the reason that I live
The reason that I sing
With all I am

I'll walk with You, wherever You go
Through tears and joy
I'll trust in You
And I will live, in all of Your ways
And Your promises, forever

I will worship
I will worship You

Father please hold my hand as I walk.

Guide me, Mould me

So that in Your likeness I'd grow

I offer my life to You.

In Jesus' Name i pray, Amen (:

2007-08-14T19:46:00.000-07:00

wow i havent blogged NORMALLY in so longgg... haha anyway, school is so depressing... there's so much to do and so little time... then again i dont want more time cos that would mean more work ): the play is really getting to me now cos i have so much to settle and now all responsibility seems to be on me ): i really dont like that feeling... i cant screw up... if i screw up, the whole group goes down with me and i cant let that happen... i have AF exam on my mind constantly too... i've been missing lessons for the play and i cant do that anymore... but i cant just ignore the play either can i? i have so much on my mind... i just dont think i can handle it.... but i know that He is always by my side... i cant do this alone, by myself but with Him, i can (:

I shall work hard and find time to study for promos (even though right now i have no time)... i shall make use of every minute in my 24 hours with sufficient sleep as well... cos without sleep i'll die... literally... haha... i'm determined to do well for my promos and significantly improve from my JCTs (: yay good resolution.... and i'm upset marky's leaving ): sighh... why do all our best teachers leave? ): rahh.... but its okay, cos we can all do it (: everybody's going through a tough time right now but we'll all get through it together (:

to o level friends: jiayou for prelims now okay? study hard and we can all go out and go siao after that (:

to a level seniors: all the way for prelims and 'A's okay? i know this period of time is probably horrible with no time for sleep even but this is all going to be over soon (: i'm going to miss you guys when you leave... hang in there! (:

to TA mates: hello people, our lives are crazy with workload and play and exams and everything but we'll all get through this okay? after that WE'RE FREEEE!!!!! (:

2007-08-13T18:43:00.000-07:00

It does not take perfection

to please God's own heart

It does not mean that when we struggle

He thinks less of us

All he wants is for us to stay

Close to him day by day

With an attitude of servanthood

In all we do and say

.........................

We worhip the Creator

The Giver of all things

He does not need our talents

or ambitious dreams for him

All He wants is for us to hear

His word and obey

With an attitude of love and grace

In all we say and do

................................

To the glory of Your Name

The best that I can be

is a meek and humble servant

For You eternal King

My life that's less than nothing

I surrender at Your feet

To take on Your likeness Jesus

Is what I pray to be

.................................

Thankyou Karen (:

2007-08-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

I dont know where this is leading me

I dont know where I'm going

I dont know if this is doing me any good

If any of this will work for me

...........................

I've told myself I know

What I have to do in life

To finish what I've started

To get to the finish line

..............................

Yet now I'm lost again

In my own world of dreams

I know I've got to wake up

To find myself again

................................

These dreams are drowning me

I'm losing control of my life

I'm sinking slowly and painfully

Not knowing what's inside

..................................

I'm holding on to my life

Breathing hard as ever

I cant allow myself to sink no more

Or I'd be gone forever

...................................

I'm going to get my life back

This time it'll be in my hands

I'll hold on tighter than I ever have

For as long as I possibly can

....................................

This life is mine alone

This life was for me

This life is still for me

And this life will be for me

2007-08-08T07:14:00.000-07:00

I have never expected

for things to turn out this way

for us to seem so close

yet seem so far away

.................

I try and try so hard

yet nothing comes from it

through all the tears and pain

i die a little each day

.................

I hold on tighter each time

and keep it closed inside

I dont want to say it out

and destroy this friendship now

.................

I know i shouldn't be feeling this way

I'm hurting myself instead

But i cant control my emotions

whenever they fight to stay

..................

I will learn to dance for Him

for Him alone it'll be

whatever trials may come

I will not seek to flee

..................

Instead I'll brave the storm

with Him walking by my side

Because I know He's there

I will conquer this fight

..................

I belong to Him alone

In His family I am blessed

I have been given this gift

And I'll use it to my best

...................

It's an honour to be His child

To be able to believe

I will hold on to my faith

And know He's there with me

BECAUSE YOU BELIEVED

2007-08-07T00:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever make it
If there’s still hope for us
If we’ll end up being the same disappointment
The same disappointing class

Sometimes I thought I should just give up
Maybe I’ll never make it after all
But you continued to believe in us
Believing that we will not fall

Despite what others would say
You never gave up on us
You gave your best to inspire
To get the best out of us

We’ve disappointed many times
And betrayed the hope you had in us
But your words, though harsh,
Finally woke us up.

Now you are leaving
We may never see you again
It’s hard to watch you walk away
But your efforts will not be in vain

We may not be the best
We may be disappointing in your eyes
But nothing will ever be the same again
Because you’re leaving us

The hope you had in us
Will always be an inspiration
For you we will strive harder
Because you believed in us

2007-07-09T18:22:00.001-07:00

okay people... i hear the desperate cries for an update (: haha i was updating yesterday but my tablet died so not my fault okay? hahaha... anyway so many things have happened since my last post and i dont know how i can actually blog about everything so i'll take my time... this is the first general post and then i shall blog about the past events in other separate posts (: basically my life has been full of surprises.... the NZ trip, horrible JCTs, seniors farewell, JCT results ): grade 8 results... yea i suppose that's about all.. oh and flora's decision to take AF with me!!!! whoopee...anyway, everything has its ups and downs i suppose... but i thank God for all the friends He has put in my life (: I know every single one of them is in my life for a reason and i thank Him for that... no matter what happens, i just know there's someone i can count on and that is enough. Even if everything goes wrong, i can still go to Him for comfort (: things have passed by so quickly, in a flash and i've come to realise that sometimes your closest friends dont understand what you are going through, they dont experience it and they just dont get it. But i'm glad i have found people who are going through the same things as me and i can find comfort in sharing with them, in ranting my troubles and everything i am unhappy about, just because they understand (: i thank God for all my friends (:

In good times
and bad times
i'll be on your side forever more
that's what friends are for (:

[to dance seniors] i love you guys to bits and i'm really going to miss yall ): 2 more years to last and still 1 more batch to send off ): i've really enjoyed everything we've been through together and this experience with you guys will be with me forever! (: i've learnt so much for all of you and i honestly wish that you guys didnt have to leave... come back to visit us often yea? and for reverie IV! (: KEEP DANCING Y'ALL!

[to my bimbotic NZ friends] hahah you guys rock and i still dont like my new name... hahaha but i suppose i'm used to it la.. at least i have better skills than tissuemon(: hahaha at least i have my trainer nehneh! hahahaha tissuemon is still not adopted, in the mon shelter (: hahahaa thanks for sharing the wonderful times we had together in NZ and back in Singapore (: i hope we continue to stick together and we'll all do our best for inter and AF!! GO DANCERS!

[kyra] YO GIRL! (: congrats on your cheer championship and grade 8 results (: you're really good, honestly... so dont worry about your DSA okay? and why didnt you pick up your phone last night ): i wanted to call and discuss the DSA piece with you ): oh well i guess i'll try again tonight (: and we're supposed to study together rmb? (: haha come for class more often okay? (: CYA SOON! (:

[hannah, tricia & amanda] hey girls (: things have been hard for us and we know what each of us are going through (: i'm glad you guys are here for me and i hope we continue to stick together through everything that'll be coming ahead. I trust that the Lord will bring us through all our troubles and in whatever we do, we must trust that the Lord is doing everything He is for a reason. I know sometimes we just cant control our emotions but i believe through prayer, anything is possible (: i hope we can talk about stuff again soon and continue to grow in the image of God (: you girls rock! (:

2007-06-06T08:12:00.000-07:00

i just got screamed at by my mum about some bag issue with regards to NZ trip. i shall not get angry and i shall not let this affect my mood because i'm going to NZ in a few days (: am i ever so happy to finally be able to go on this trip (:

and then again, my JCTs are coming up ): so i have to study my guts out... how sad is it that i have to bring notes to study at NZ... okay i shall not complain as well because i know i'm still going to have a great time over there (:

shiao came over for makeup course with my godsis and we were both enlightened (: hahaha had a great time and i hope i'll know how to do my makeup now (: HOPE... FINGERS CROSSED (: haha... now i think i should think of the stuff i have to bring for the trip and forget all about the screaming and the studying... for now..

bye (:

2007-05-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

THIS IS COOOLLLL MAN... AN AMAZING QUOTE FROM THE MOVIE "V for VENDETTA"! (:

“Voilà!
In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran,
cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate.
This visage, no mere veneer of vanity,
is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished.
However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation,
stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin
vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain,
for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose
so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you
and you may call me V.”

COOL AYE (: the Vs are so cool... and now the other quote which sounds just as nice (: hahaa

Remember Remember
the fifth of November
the gunpowder treason and plot.
i know of no reason why
the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.

LOVE LOVE (: ELECTIVE WEEK IS IN 3 DAYS!!! YAYNESS (: AND DANCE CONCERT'S IN A FEW WEEKS!!!

2007-05-01T03:01:00.000-07:00

why do i have to bear with this?

arent they as much a part of this as i am?

am i the only one trying hard enough?

maybe they just dont care.

or maybe i should just give up.

this isnt getting me anywhere.

i just want to get this over and done with.

all they know how to do is *****.

i cant take this anymore.

i guess i shouldnt even try so hard.

i dont even know what i'm working so hard for.

this is so frustrating.

ive had enough of this already.

that's it.

2007-04-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

TJ DANCE ALL THE WAY!! LOVE YOU GUYS TO BITS!!! WAY TO GO!! (:

today's syf was sooo good (: tj dancers are the greatest mann!!! (: hard work sure has paid off, no matter how the results turn out to be (: they were sooo neat and so clean in everything... i hope the judges are impressed (: they stood out so much in their insane and crazy looking costumes but it rocked (: haha well now that one's over, we got to work hard for the other one now ): dance concert... but well i believe we can all pull through (: GO DANCERS! <3>

Before leaving school to NUS UCC (: goodness look at all their nervous faces (: haha dont they just look insane in that costume? (:

Our dear vice-pres (; what would TJ dance do without you? <3

crazy fanny (: always bringing a smile to everyone's faces (:

my fishy friend (: why did you have to give me that name? ): haha

fantastic girl to bully (: haha okay kidding... why do you have to leave tj? ):

LOVES <3

2007-04-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

YAYNESS (: I'M GOING FOR THE NZ TRIP!! (: after like 2 years of waiting... hahaha but well my dad is still unreasonably pissed while my mum's alright with it already. i really dont know what's wrong with him la... i mean i've been begging them to let me go for the last 2 years and they just say next year next year, now save up first... so now i save already and he is still pissed ): i really dont understand what parents are thinking but at least they are allowing me to go for it (: and i learnt that every good thing comes with a price, especially this time... my parents were originally getting me my own camera for my birthday because my previous one spoiled and they wouldn't get another one for me after that... but now because i'm going for the NZ trip, my parents say they wont be getting me the camera for my birthday ): they say the trip is enough of a birthday present already ): argh... i feel so upset ): cos i was planning to bring my new camera along for the trip to take loads of pictures but apparently now i cant because my parents refuse to get me one ): and i doubt they'll allow me to bring the family one so i have to go without a camera ): that is so so so so sad ): then i cant snap random pictures and go crazy ): sighhh... oh well...

anyway, thanks rebecca for sharing that with me and dont worry. i'll be writing back soon (: and tricia thanks for being such a great friend, we'll have loads of fun during the trip yea? (: i shall take my revenge on elizabeth!! wahahaha... and lastly thanks to shiao for this...

Lord, may I be wakeful at sunrise to begin a new day for You;
cheerful at sunset for having done my work for You;
thankful at moonrise and under the starshine for the beauty of Your universe.

And may i add what little may be in me
to add to Your great world.

Oh Lord, grant that i may see the joke of things
the little things that bother now and then
Lord, grant my sense of humour to be strong
to weep a bit - and yet, smile again
God, grant me that there be a chuckle in each tear
To every trial, Lord,
grant a funny half (:

Thankyou Lord for granting me great friends and families (:

2007-04-08T16:59:00.000-07:00

Oh Lord Your tenderness

melting all my bitterness

Oh Lord I receive Your love

Oh Lord Your loveliness

changing all my ugliness

Oh Lord I receive Your love

This song is SOOO NICE (: really touched my heart during service yesterday (:

PEOPLE!!! COME FOR DANCE CONCERT, REVERIE III ON 31 MAY (THURS), 8pm AT NUS UCC (: it's during the June holidays and its at night (: tickets are selling at $15... order from TJ dancers!!! (:

Sorry its blur... it basically says: REVERIE III DANCER IN MY HEART by tj modern dance club. followed by the details which i have already mentioned so yup (: support support alright (:

2007-04-04T22:05:00.000-07:00

ARGH I FEEL SO FREAKING LOUSY AFTER VIEWING BALLET POSES AND STUFF FROM PEOPLE'S FRIENDSTERS ): i'm like same age as them and i'm so freaking lousy... sigh... but i have come up with a resolution to train on my flexibility, arabesque lines and back strength etc. from now on... i shall work really hard to achieve what i want (: after all, that's what life is about aint it? and anyway, i've got to train for advance found also so i'm kinda killing two birds with one stone (: WONDERFUL (:

my second resolution is to do well in school cos i've got like band 2s for everything and so i have decided to work hard as well.. but i must say, having a tablet in class isnt exactly good cos its so tempting to use it during class and get distracted ): BUT i have learnt to multi task and i'm doing it right now cos i'm having chinese but i'm paying attention okay... friendster just now was what motivated me to work hard for both dance and school... i have to balance out my life and live with joy each day because He is with me and even though i HAVE to go to school and i dont have a choice, i shall learn to appreciate it and not complain (:

KYRA YONG rmb to help me with my bridge and handstand and everything okay (: MY AIM (short term i guess..) is to be able to do frontwalk which is so funny and coooolllll... its so hilarious to see kyra do it cos she'll like this weird thing spinning around all the time... hahaha... oh welll...

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Lord come into my heart and take Your place. i offer my life to You, Lord i long to see Your face (:

2007-03-27T20:53:00.000-07:00

life is horrible and so is chem ): but well, i'm determined to do well and i shall (: hopefully... remedial will work for me! yes! i shall be positive ): boohooo... i'm sadly living in self-denial... okat this shall not bother me and i shall be happy cos i'm going for ballet tonight and i'm gonna work my guts out (: oh and provide moral support for my dear jody and eileen (: you guys can do it alright (: SMILE LOTS!! (:

It's never been easy for me
To find words to go along with a melody
But this time there's actually something on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines

Since I met you my whole life has changed
It's not just my furniture you've re-arranged
I was living in the past
But somehow you've brought me back
and I haven't felt like this since before Frankie said relax

and now I know based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you is
Don't write me off just yet

For years I've been telling myself the same old story
That I'm happy to live off my so called former glories
but you've given me a reason
to take another chance
now I need you
despite the factthat you've killed all my plants

and now I knowi've already blown more chances
than anyone should ever get
all I'm asking you is
don't write me off just yet
don't write me off just yet

this song is so pretty!!! (: loves (:

2007-03-22T07:06:00.000-07:00

it's never easy
to dance with the sparkle of Christ
our lives get so busy
we tend to forget our purpose in life

it's easy to forget
we're children of God
His holiness in us
can never be bought

we should live to glorify
the Name of the Most High
we are princesses of Him
this blessing money cant buy

we should be clothed in integrity
dancing with passion and poise
but dancing for the world
is the princess' wrong choice

over time i've learnt to dance
for only Him alone
the passion and gift i have
was grinded into my bones

it is who i am
its who i dance for that matters
with the sparkle of Christ in me
this dance could never have been better (:

2007-03-15T06:51:00.000-07:00

okay i've finally decided to blog (: heh suddenly felt like blogging due to the piling of assignments, tests and projects ): oh well... i guess this is life...

ANYWAY, apart from school, today was super fun (: rebecca ann tricia and i went to wildwildwet!! (: hahahaa finally i have a day of fun in this so-called holiday week... it was super fun man! the river thing was for warmups and then we went to big float thing which we all went on (: rebecca tan was screaming her head off EVEN with her sorethroat... hahaha and we went to the playgrounds and slides too (: oh oh and we went on that U shaped ride which was SOOO FUN!!! of course, rebecca screamed on that one and surprisingly ann too!! hahaha and then we relaxed our nerves at the tsunami pool (: we were all almost sleeping there while grabbing onto each other's floats! haha oh guess what? i have a tan line!!! and this time it looks kind of obvious and not like the other times where i just look darker cos well, i never peal or get sunburnt, at most i'll just turn PINK! hahaa kyra yong are you jealous???? (: okay i shant be mean...

we went to karen's house for lunch after about 3 plus and the food tasted good man! (: but then again, anything and everything tastes good when you're hungry right? then we went up to her room to do work (: goodness her own ROOM had a piano! which reminds me of my mum bugging me to join the worship team or something, this i believe i'm incapable of since my chords playing is lousy and my standard's definitely not good enough :s anyway, i finished my assignment i printed and marky tan wanted it HANDWRITTEN ): oh well and i accomplished a few lines of chem, hahaa that isnt exactly an accomplishment is it? but we talked about stuff and it was really nice and easy to talk to karen about things i have kept to myself and locked inside me for a rather long time (: i feel really blessed to have a great cell leader, thanks karen (:

after today, i realised that i havent had many friends who understood my situations at home and soon after i guess i stopped trying to explain anything to anyone and i just closed in. it felt really nice to be able to open up and talk about stuff i've kept inside me for so long. everything i have felt which i had no one to say to cos no one would have understood. God really has an amazing way of bringing people into my life (: thankyou Father (:

2007-02-13T16:20:00.000-08:00

sigh i really dont know what to do now ): basically, i cant do both character dances and my stamina is not enough for waltz ): i guess i just need practice to see which one i'm better at... i've been wanting to do something but i dont know if i should, even though i know i want to...

on mondays, wednesdays and thursdays, i have no dance nor ballet but i want to go to the studio to practice. but i'll most probably be alone cos others have cca... so i've been considering asking ms pang if i can go to the studio to practice on these days but she has class on mondays and wednesdays. it'll just be me though cos the rest cant make it... i dont mind if she asks me to join her younger grades just as long as i can practice the dances but i dont really dare to ask ): and i'm a little afraid of being alone during class but i guess i can live with having class with the younger grade la... argh i really dont know what to do ):

someone please help me and tell me what to do...

2007-02-06T05:21:00.000-08:00

I HATE CHEMISTRY

I HATE SCIENCES

I HATE SCHOOL ):

all i want to do is dance

dancing is the only thing

that makes me forget about school

and all the stress

my life:

school

work

lunch

work

ballet (thrice a week)

work

dinner

work

sleep

and the cycle repeats

i basically dont have a life

why?

the activity i need most

doesnt happen everyday

i need dance everyday

I NEED TO DANCE

BUT

i dont hate my life

i have so much to be thankful for

i just hate schooling ):

p.s. thankyou for reminding me how much i have to be thankful for (: it gave me the extra ounce of strength to last the day (: thankyou for reminding me that the Lord will always bring me through (:

2007-02-04T03:55:00.000-08:00

have faith and trust that He will bring you through all your troubles. Lay your problems at His feet. (:

You are the peace
that guards my heart
my help in times of need

You are the hope
that leads me on
and brings me to my knees

For there i find You waiting
and there i find release
so with all my heart ill worship
and unto You i'll sing

For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we worship and adore You
Father we long to see Your face

For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we love You
and we worship You this day

Father we love You and we long to see Your face...

2007-01-31T16:33:00.000-08:00

GAHH... i'm dying of boredom ): i suck at sciences and basically everything that has to do with school.... this is just great ): i feel like dancing... i feel like dancing all the time... i hate school... i wanna quit school... and nobody's really giving ms dee the correct answer... hahahahha i just want school to end... and i'm freezing in this lab ): even with my dance jacket... oh well...

anyway, i went to ccr on sunday... finally... after so much pleading with my mum (: and she's allowing to stay at hof permanently (; yay... thankyou rebecca and tricia for making me feel so welcome at hof (: and karen too... oh oh I WANNA JOIN DANCE MINISTRY!!! (: whhhhheeeeee... but of course i'll get settled down first (: hopefully i'll join rebecca and tricia's cell (;

alright.. i got to go do some stuff on molecular genetics or something...

bb (:

2007-01-22T01:20:00.000-08:00

this is so weird... i wasnt in the mood to blog for like so many months and now i feel like blogging all the time... hmm what's going on in me man... oh well this is good anyway (: people please tag more often (:

i feel quite upset that i cant go for ms wee's class on tuesdays cos of ballet coaching and actually for official trainings, i cant go for any at all... monday and friday is syf prac which i dont need to go (since i pulled out) and tuesday is technique class where i cant make it ): now i cant get to know the juniors at all ): especially cos they're not in the items for reverie as we are in so basically i dont get to see them at all... which kinda sucks cos i feel so disconnected ): and i still have 2 plus years to last in this dance club... oh well somebody please tell me what to do...

to rongqi: dont be too upset okay... we know you're having a hard time but take it easy... just remember that we'll always be here for you (: you still have a nice birthday to look forward to (: we'll have fun together in dance okay? and if you really cant handle it, just drop it, really... and come and talk to us whenever you want to cos we'll always be here (: love you loads (:

everybody's under so much stress nowadays cos of school and i think moe should really consider changing the syllabus and everything a little cos if they dont do so, students are really going to start going nuts...

if i had the chance to, i would really rather choose to be enrolled in a dance school than in a normal education school cos i love dancing so much more than studying and sometimes, i wonder why i even study... and in a dance school, i will still have normal lessons, just not as much but it doesnt mean i wont learn anything... sigh... i guess probably singapore doesnt have enough resources and developments in terms of the arts... maybe after As, i'll go overseas to study (: oh oh and the other time, a few of us were talking in the studio and we were FANTASIZING about creating a Christian dance company in future together... hahahhaa oh well, who knows? maybe it will come true (: after all, we've been friends almost all our lives (: 11th year now (: and they are the BEST (: thanks guys, you people rock!! (:

loves. tata (:

2007-01-21T05:46:00.000-08:00

life is such a bore ): homework comes like a flowing river which just never stops... can i just quit school please... argh...

i went to sengkang methodist church today... for the 2nd time... and well i sort of know a FEW people there like brenda, deborah, sandar... yea... and we were talking about forgiveness today (:

"SIGNS OF FORGIVENESS"
1. not mentioning the bad things
2. not making the person feel afraid of you
3. not making the person feel guilty (by purposing mentioning the incident or something)
4. not letting the person lose face
5. will protect and bless them (:

Before we can forgive others, we have to:
1. first seek the forgiveness of God
2. choose to be broken and humbled before Him

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with your hands
And lead me in your righteousness
And I look to you
And I wait on you...

I'll sing to you Lord a hymn of love
For your faithfulness to me
And Im carried in everlasting arms
Youll never let me go through it all

Entrust your life in God's hands and He will bring us through it all (: Praise the Lord (:

2007-01-17T17:26:00.000-08:00

bio presentations... sigh... i shall look at the brighter side of life...

oh i heard about dance auditions on tuesday... hahahaa it was HORRIBLE so i heard... i cant believe how much our standard will drop.. i think it's really bad la... ms wee wanted to take in only like 3 people but what can 3 J1, 3 TA2 and 3 TA3 do??? 9 people for dance??? that's freaking PATHETIC... so in the end, ms wee pushed in 19 people and i hope they really arent as bad as i heard or else zaki will so scream on friday when he sees them... they took damn long to learn the syf dance and only the first few sets la... i hope they do a good job in the items they are doing for reverie... and now seniors have so much responsibility cos we have to train the juniors so that our standard wont be so lousy when the J2s leave... ): i'm so going to cry when the seniors leave... they are such super nice people (: meng ai, sharon, seha, nadine, zheya... etc... you guys rock man (:

haiz i just wish i could do more for dance cos now i'm not in syf and i feel so slacker la... if there arent enough items, i might consider choreoing one item maybe... JUST MAYBE cos i doubt my standard will be good enough for the concert and dance in general... oh well...

anyway, grade 8 exams are coming!!!!! I LOVE POETIQUE!!!!! i'm so going to do it for exam... i seriously dont know about character and classical actually.... i kinda want to do waltz (spelling?) but demi-character is like something we have been doing for so long so i might just do better in that so see how la... and i LOVE LOVE THE COMPULSORY DANCES (: and i'm in the same group as KYRA AND DAPH!!!!! whee hee.... after so long finally the last grade we're going in for one exam together (: our leotard is going to be super nice... suggestions of colours??? hahaha oh well...

and ms pang asked me and jody to take advance foundation this sept which is CRAZY because i havent learnt the work and neither am i strong enough... but I SHALL TRY (: and if i make it, i'll be freaking happy!!! cos then i'll be doing much less work for advance 1 since the work is so similar (: if not, i guess i'll train two years and directly take a1 but that will probably be super tough so yea... see how i guess...

YAY THERE'S FINALLY REVERIE PRACTICE AFTER SO LONG!!!! i miss all the self-choreo rehearsals and everything (: yay and i'll get to see all the dancers again!!! love them all to bits (:
tata.. so looking forward to maths ):

2007-01-04T04:05:00.000-08:00

SCHOOL STARTED )):

well after not blogging for so long, i am finally in the mood to blog (: haha thanks to val (: haiz the first few days of school is so sian ): to be honest i'm kinda disappointed with the teachers we got this year but well, i guess i'll survive... even though i'm kinda freaked out by m.tan but i know he's a good tutor so yea (: i'll live (:

ARGH my timetable sucks big time man... everyday ends at 3pm except for friday and i seriously hope i dont die for sciences... wednesday's are so slack though... we have almost two hours of free period after break so basically it's kinda 2 half of free periods... haha and well you know, wednesdays are civics and contact time days so like we dont have many proper lessons left...

and oh guess what, i forgot to tap my card both yesterday and today so i got to go look for mrs cheong to get her to edit my attendance... poot... i shall make sure i remember to tap tmr and if i dont, i'm so gonna bang my head against the wall!! anyway, our class is so pathetic, we have like 4 guys... FOUR out of TWENTY-FIVE.... that isnt even one-fifth!!!! goodness, are smart guys that rare??? hahaha okay i'm kidding, to any guy who sees this, it is NOT discrimination or an insult against guys (:

gosh this year is gonna be nuts man... okay at least for the first half of the year cos we're having reverie III and syf... EEK!!okay even though i'm not in syf but i guess reverie rehearsals are gonna keep me busy... haiz... last year we had rehearsals pratically every single day after school ): poot and plus my ballet coaching classes are like tues, friday and saturday... and ms pang might add one on wed so i'm kinda screwed and if i dont organise my time properly, i'm so gonna DIE ): oh well...

oh and the sixers went to watch confessions of pain on wednesday... goodness it was groggy and so graphical... eww... shiao told us it was nice and persuaded us to watch and we actually bought it and basically, she spent the 1 hour plus in the theatre screaming and closing her eyes so actually i think she paid 5 bucks to watch only about half an hour of the entire movie... hahahaha
well the conclusion, never listen to shiao's recommendations and never go with her to watch a movie (:
SHIRLEEN SHIAO!!! WHERE'S MY 5 BUCKS???

OH OH and guess who i saw in tj today!!!! i saw SHIXUAN, CHINGYI, GORDEN, CAROL, FERENA!!! hahahahhaha what a surprise man (: not that i was surprised to see gk or sx but well the others i was surprised (: i had no idea that i would see them at tj (: WELCOME TO THE TJ FAMILY GUYS (: hahaha sorry i'm slightly high now... and because of this, i figure i should stop blogging in case i go nuts and blog some stupid crap... hahaha

2006-11-29T05:46:00.000-08:00

CONCERT'S OVER ):
my life has no excitement anymore ): i'm so bored... nothing to look forward to.. nothing... oh well at least this makes my blog cos my blog is so dead the way it already is..

anyway, we finally had grade 8 class yesterday... there were only like 4 people from our class, jody daph kyra and me and then rest are the inter found grade 8s... yea the 4 of us were really high and excited about the work and everything i bet ms pang thought we were crazy... hahahaha... we were learning demi-character and my stamina is so LOUSY... seriously... argh and i cant do double pirouettes!!! ): darn it... i could do such perfect ones in tj dance studio during ms wee's training and i cant during ballet ): argh why is this happening???

OH OH there is something exciting happening in my life (: we're having performance on saturday (: tj dance club i mean... haha we performing at SGH at some eye centre thing... the costumes are so nice man... and so ex BUT we're not paying for it (: our dance fund is (: but other than this, we have to pay for our foot thongs as well which are super ex... like $20... sigh... the cost of being a dancer... but it's all worth it (:

DANCERS ALL THE WAY (:

oh and kyra, being the nice person that i am, i shall not blog about your embarrassing moments but...

ANYONE WHO WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT KYRA'S EMBARRASSING AND RETARDED MOMENTS, PLEASE COME AND LOOK FOR ME (:

hahhaa oh and dont call me a 'mini' (: i'm nice and not ANNOYING and the word IRRITATING isnt irritating... hahaha

2006-11-20T06:43:00.001-08:00

i really dont get it. why dont you understand? i just want to help out. i know how to organise my time. i know i've been spending more than usual but i do have self control. you dont have to scream at me. i know how much time i have been spending on it. but cant you just understand that this is because i'm trying to help her out? she needs help. you think i dont feel stressed? you think i'm so carefree when i'm there? things arent that simple. why cant you just bear with it until it ends? it is ending soon. i know how much i have sacrificed. i know what needs to be done but you just dont understand the importance of this do you? i'm trying. i really am. fine you dont want me to go, i wont. but what difference would it make? wont the situation still be the same for the next few days? and you're going to scream at me again? but i'll just tell you that it would be over soon. cant you bear with it just for a while more? i have alot on my mind too. but you'll just say i take up too much responsibility. that's why i dont dare to tell you. you'll just scream at me again. i'm trying so hard to make this work. please dont tear it apart. this is my passion. i know what i want. i know people are mad at me. but i will commit when i can. i just cant right now. it is my priority. i know you are worried but i also know that i know how to control my time. i know what i should and should not do. when i should and should not do something. i know you dont trust me now. i'm not saying that i'm not at fault. yes i am, and i will change myself. but i'm really just trying to help. she really needs it. please be understanding.

2006-09-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

okay i shall finally blog after so long... mainly cos i'm feeling bored right now.. and today is going to be a super sian day la... sigh... oh well but the thing which keeps me going is seeing my ballet friends later and having rehearsal and PRACTISING FOR INTER EXAM which happens to be like this coming saturday and i hope seriously hope i dont screw it up... Lord please help me to be prepared and do my very best during the exam...

anyway, thanks to my nice ballet friends, they are coming to give me moral support during my exam and they'll be meeting me before my exam and then later we can go to ACS barker for our performance together (: bestest friends i could ever have and those i cannot live without (: i hope our performance would be good as well. and i am going to be sure to bring my camera to snap a whole lot of pictures with costumes and makeup (: yay!!! i cant wait (:

friends just put you together dont they? especially crappy ones like daphne tan (: hahahaa... we just had a really crappy conversation last night when i called her to tell her about the half jackets i borrowed (: hahahah seriously i have no idea how the conversation evolved into such a nonsensical one but well it did and it really helped me loosen up from school work and stress from my upcoming inter exam and performance (: thankyou fellow crapper (: we should have another of those again soon... the friends i cant live without (: those who crap with you and laugh with you and just keeps you going and being with them is just so much fun (:

i hope i get to go to the UK trip in november-december cos it's going to be really fun if rongqi, val, krislyn etc. can go (: it is going to be so much fun!!! i hope i can go la but i want to go for NZ trip with daph and kyra as well ): oh well gtg... people i need advice if i should go for UK trip... okay physics next... so looking forward to it ):

2006-08-28T00:19:00.000-07:00

okay it has been 8 days since i blogged and it felt like eternity (: oh well.. i'm sitting here with seha and rong qi and i'm finally updating because i'm feeling really really bored and i have nothing to do so i shall update my blog (: gonna have full dress rehearsal for teachers' day performance later and i'm done with alot of work so i'm proud of myself (:

have been preparing for performance at ACS barker on 16 sept (: we're doing street jazz (: so fun!!!!! but we're also doing an item en pointe and i hope i dont screw up... well i haveto endure my exam first cos that's really my 1st priority now and i really really want to do well so yea... i have really put in everything, all the practices and hard work... i hope it pays off (: 3 more weeks... i can do it!!! okay now i'm feeling really bored so i shall stop blogging and do something useful (: and prepare for dance... YAY!!! (:

2006-08-20T03:00:00.000-07:00

oh guess what, i just realised that my previous post was the day that my exam is exactly one month away ): sigh... okay that was super random, especially to start a post with... hahaa..

anyway, i feel lousy in dance ): i feel as if i cant do anything compared to the other pro people who can do anything... argh... i mean they can do so much stuff and they consider it normal to be able to do all that... which also means that i'm super lousy ): ): argh... and i'm not exactly very good in ballet either, and ballet is SUPPOSED to be the ONLY THING I'M GOOD AT... so now i think i suck as a dancer ): ): i just hope i can do well enought o get a distinction for my inter exam.... seriously got to work on my adage... just went over to dancepointe for a class with ms foo's girls and my exam pianist was playing.. she was okay for the most of the exercises except ADAGE of all things, and the dance. for adage, she played slow, which is bad for me, cos i dont think i have enough strength to hold my leg and everything... in the case that i lose my balance during adage or simply do badly, i'll be doomed and super screwed which i hope wont happen. so i shall work hard for the remaining time i have before my exam and hopefully be able to polish my adage to perfection... Lord please help me... and for the dance, she plays slow as well, which makes it tiring but other than that, she's not bad a pianist and i got her for my exam last year as well so i just hope this exam will not be a disaster and would actually turn out good enough for me to score a 75 and above cos last year i missed it just by a few marks and it's so frustrating ): gosh okay all that sadness is making my lose confidence in preparation for my ballet exam so i got to think on the bright side... i can do it, i can do it, i can do it... perserverance, perserverance, perserverance....

okay now happy stuff (: finally, after 8 weeks of literal torture, it's elective week and now finally, our brains can take a LITTLE break and restore some brain cells before there arent enough to last our EOYs which would be super bad... even though we still have projects and stuff to hand in, i guess 2 hours plus of lessons is good enough la... better than nothing anyway (: yes i should think like that for my ballet exam, think on the bright side (: and tmr IT'S MONDAY!!!! and the sixers gang are going out for newyorknewyork!!!! yay!!! cant wait!!! and going to buy costume for our teachers' day performance with rongqiqi before going for dance (: yea schedule's kinda tight but it's going to be some fun FINALLY... okay now i got to use up the last of my brains cells doing my ss assignment which i left half done yesterday before going for dinner at 9 plus with my family ): oh well... after all, students do lead a sad, pathetic life...

2006-08-16T20:47:00.000-07:00

MAN THIS IS SO SUPER IRRITATING!!!! MY STUPID TABLET OR BLOGGER DOES NOT ALLOW ME TO LOAD PICTURES!!!!! AND I HAVE TRIED SO MANY TIMES AND THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING..... SHIAO IS NOW TRYING TO MAKE ME EVEN MORE PISSED IN THE PLIGHT THAT I'M ALREADY IN AND LATER I SHALL GO AND STRANGLE HER... RIGHT NOW, VENT MY ANGER ON MY BLOG FIRST... phew... okay now i'm feeling more calm and i just dont know what is wrong with my blogger... argh... sigh... i need to blog about something happy!!! okay... BALLET!!! (:

yay weewian supports me on my quest to go strangle shiao!!! hahah yay!!! i'm so happy that my work is improving for ballet (: i dont have much time to go and polish my work and especially work on my stamina so that i will be able to last through the exam and eventually go into the exam room PREPARED... hopefully... and i hope i will have enough energy to last me through the dance, especially the ending part (: oh yea and ms pang used the music, waltz of the flowers, for our dance yesterday (: it was so super nice but SO SUPER TIRING...it's very nice and i simply love the music and the combination of the steps (: it so rocks even though we almost died doing it cos we were so tired after doing the dance like 4 times but oh well, practice makes perfect so i got to practice practice practice!!!

okay now's lunch so i shall go for lunch since i'm really hungry and i need to go strangle shiao on the way (: yup okay tata bb (:

2006-08-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

sigh... last week was so difficult to get by and because it was so depressing, i shall not blog about it but instead i shall blog about happy stuff (: like what happened last saturday during the helping out of shanghai thing!!! it was so much better than the week before, even though it was super tiring but i lived through it and had more of a fun time with my happy springtime and splish splash (: they were really fun this time instead of just being noisy... i guess sometimes you just got to appreciate little kids...

well jody, joanna and i met before hand to have lunch and walk around and stuff then after fussing about whether to take the free transport or take train, we decided to take free transport (: then we met daph and got there, helped out with the organising of little kids.. haha and then got onto the bus (: when we got there, we stayed with our group again and brought them in and out and stuff. at first it was quite boring cos they were rehearsing curtain call aka finale and so everyone was on stage so we din have much to do la. it was only after that that we started bring super busy because they were doing make up and wearing costumes and eating and rehearsing all at the same time... well it was really fun while it lasted cos i had to stay with my group and i couldnt run around with daph they all cos one of my groups were rather young and so i had to stay with them la in case some of them cry like the last time... and when i sat down to take a break on the floor, the little kids started crowding around me and pestering me for my name... hahah and they gave me tons of stupid names and were guessing and everything... they actually called me 'i dont know', 'orange' and other crazy stuff and since ether was wearing yellow they called her yellow (: hahaha okay well... then they started asking alot of people what my names was and since alot of people din know me they also couldnt say much la until it came to ms pang and she played along and so did daph so yea it was quite funny seeing them running around and trying so hard to fogure out my name... hahhaa.. but joanna gave it away la but it din matter cos some of them still din believe it was my name so yea... hahaha... then i got to know my 2 favorite people from the 2 groups (: kimberly from happyspringtime and zena from splish splash (: they were super cute... and super nice too... hee... i cant believe they even asked for my phone number but i din give it to them just in case they prank call me!!! hahaha... okay that was one happy thing to recall about... now the next happy thing (: CLICK!!!

well click as in the movie and it was super nice (: not wonder it was rated 4.5 stars... it is seriously worth that much... watched it with shiao and low after the long searching of available cinemas all over town... haha at cine, at ps and at marina and finally we got through to marina and we watched the fantastic movie (: it was so super nice... it was funny at first but at the ending part it was quite sad and then it had a happy ending so yea it was really nice and the storyline really flowed... really worth watching (: the last time the 3 of us went to watch a movie together was the time when we watched i not stupid 2 and shiao and i cried while low dint. this time however, shiao and low cried and i din (: hahaha... sigh shiao just cant take it la... cant blame her too...hahaha... and you wont believe it okay, low was watching it for the second time and she still cried... hahahaha but in any case i really enjoyed the movie but ballet was the dread after that cos my muscles were aching like crazy and so were daph's from both our school dances ): so i had to put counterpain at night but i seriously got to train my splits and stuff cos i think it would seriously help in my inter so i got to work on it... alright got to go (: glad to have these national day holidays for a break... seriously need it before my brain dies from exhaustion... sigh...

2006-08-02T17:07:00.000-07:00

okay i'm updating again because i'm so uber bored right now... haha... anyway, the sixers went out to watch lake house the other day and it was quite okay la, i wont say that i would pay to watch it again but it wasnt exactly as bad as the critics say it is la... the front part was quite okay and then the middle was some what boring and rather draggy but the ending was nice!!! it was so cool but the 2 years diff thing kinda confused me and i sort of got lost in that 2 year thing... hahaha... oh well...

argh my muscles are aching ): ms pang made us do FOUETTE OF ADAGE EIGHT TIMES on tuesday!!!my gosh... my muscles are so suan man... and there was class again the next day so right now, it's sort of double aching and i'm kinda panicking for teachers' day performance... ahhh!!!!! i havent learnt the new stuff for hiphop and contemp and i am so super screwed ): just got to get rq or krislyn to teach me or meng ai also can la (: hee she's super nice!!! anyway, i just hope i can cope with juggling school dance and ballet at the same time and with the performance getting nearer, i am seriously panicking liao... oh yea and guess what??? my inter exam is on the 16 SEPT!!! gosh this is scary la... i am so afraid that i wont be prepared.. and if i'm really not prepared, i'll cry ): argh, so unfair, daph and kyra both got 27 sept and it's so late!!! i want that too!!!! argh. my adage both in centre and barre sucks and i seriously need help!!! DAPHNE TAN!!! help me!!!! okay i need to calm down... phew... alright....

yay i'm quite excited about saturday!!! helping out at the shanghai thing again and this time, i'm prepared!!! wahahahaa... the last time, i was literally tormented by those kids and cheryl was super bored!!! hahaha but quite a few of hers cried and mine were just simple NOISY!!! argh.. oh well... i hope they our groups or something but i get a nice group la (: but i already prepared bribing material!!! hahahaha sweets and chocolates!!! yay!!! then i can help daph and jody with the getting people up and down stuff (: yep that'll be fun and super tiring but oh well, november is going to be our turn for concert!!! excited about it (:

okay i think i should stop this crapping and maybe later i shall post some incredible ballet pictures that i found on the net (: okay tata...

2006-07-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

okay yet another day in school where that's a maths test, argh... i just hope i'm prepared... oh well i shall not panick over that now cos i believe i'm prepared, i hope... anyway, yesterday i played the piano for church service and it was sort of a disaster cos i think this time we kinda screwed things up la but i guess maybe God just wants this to be an experience for us... oh well.. yesterday i cried during church because i tot i played really bad so yea...i just hope that i'll do better this week even though i have only 2 days to practice before i go for the practice... yikes!!! oh well... i guess i just have to chiong lor... haiz... life's such a rush.... i'm just glad to have great friends and family around me (:

oh yea, I GOT THE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SOUNDTRACK!!!! it totally rocks man (: whee... and they have the karoake version also and poster of troy and gabriella with their signature!!!! my gosh it so rocks okay (: hahahahaha okay since i have the soundtrack, i shall share another song (: WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR (:

It's hard to believe
That I couldn't see
You were always there beside me
Thought I was alone
With no one to hold
But you were always right beside me

This feelings like no other
I want you to know
I've never had someone
that knows me like you do
the way you do
I've never had somone
as good for me as you
no one like you
so lonely before i finally found
what i've been looking for

So good to be seen
So good to be heard
Don't have to say a word
For so long I was lost
So good to be found
I'm loving having you around

This feeling's like no other
I want you to know
I've never had someone that knows me like you do
The way you do
I've never had someone as good for me as you
No one like you
So lonely before, I finally found what I've been looking for

there you go (: God bless (: have a nice day (:

2006-07-26T17:18:00.000-07:00

i've had enough.
I dont want to care.
what you are doing hurts us further.

2006-07-25T18:09:00.000-07:00

sigh i'm feeling so uber bored... cos now we're waiting for lang arts to start and i'm sitting here rotting away and jx is next to me saying that he is freaking bored... yes oh well just like me cos i have nothing to do right now... argh...yesterday we had napfa and argh it makes me pissed just thinking about it...

we went through that 5 items yesterday... and sadly the only thing i got A in is shuttle run.. sigh... and the rest i got C but my incline sucks so i dun exactly know what will happen... but i shall share my pissifying experience with the teacher who did not allow me to do one more time for sit and reach... argh... everybody is SUPPOSED to have 2 tries but due to lack of time, she said okay everybody gets only one chance okay so since i was register no. 4 i din exactly have much time to stretch and i got 38cm, which is a C and lousy... anyway then after that i went one side to stretch and tried again on another of those sitnreach things on my own and i got 46cm... it's a difference of 8cm and it's an A but the teacher was so... argh nvm but she was unwilling to just look when i do... she was just like okay i'm only going to let one person to redo and that was vivian and i din get the chance no matter how much i begged her and it was so irritating cos i could have gotten an A... argh oh well nvm as long as i pass i dun exactly care anymore (: okay now i got to go for lang arts (: and my com is running out of batt ):

2006-07-24T02:56:00.000-07:00

why cant we believe you anymore?! well i'll tell you why, it's cos you have betrayed our trust for [ ] years and now you expect us to just accept your sorry and trust you again and everything is supposed to return to the way it has always been? no that is not going to happen. Being a christian, yes i have forgiven you but you cannnot expect our relationship to return the way it has always been. it wont be the same anymore. i can forgive you but i cannot forget what you have done. maybe i can but it is going to take time.

what exactly do you want to talk through? we already know everything we want to know. everything that is the truth. there's nothing to talk about anymore. i dont see the point in talking. and yea you were really snobbish in your post and come on, calling us [ ]? apparently your unreasonable anger has just cost you our relationship. you know you have lied to us about so many things and i know you can change but it's a little too late. how long have we been friends huh? that trust that lasted for so long vanished the moment we found out the truth. even that SLIGHTEST BIT of trust vanished. yes saying sorry wont cure that hurt that you have given us and it wont end nicely. how do you even expect it to end nicely huh? our relationship, our friendship has already ended. maybe it can be revived, but it'll take time. of course you wont be afraid to tell us whatever we want to know now, because we already know the truth and we dont need to know more. but you need time? how long has it been? you had so much time to tell us the truth, so much time before we found out the truth and you werent even planning on telling us. you had your chance. you ahd so much time. you wasted it all. did you think that the truth would never be found out? well you're wrong.

and you need to stop thinking of yourself only. think about others. it's not solely about what you do, you know. even if you are trying your best to save this friendship, you have to think about how we feel. having kept in the dark for so long huh? you think we can just let it go? and all those things you said in your blog about us. you think we can just forget all that and be good friends again? well you're wrong again. you have no idea what we're going through. you should learn to put yourself in others' shoes and try to know how we're feeling. you think it's so easy to just "oh let's talk it over and after that, we'll be good friends again"? you have got the total wrong idea about friendship and the trust that is supposed to be between friends, let alone good friends.

2006-07-23T07:07:00.000-07:00

well... what a big change in your attitude towards us huh... just in your last post you were calling us [ ] and now you're willing tell us everything we want to know? well just to let you know, we already know everything we NEED to know... oh and next time please check the FACTS first... we know what we heard was the TRUTH and not RUMOURS... so before you blame others amd think that YOU are the victim, please find out what is true and what's not... and now you regret what you did? i really dont think that saying sorry would be enough to mend this relationship, maybe this relationship wasnt even real in the first place... after all, you [ ] to us all along and you cant expect us to just trust you again so easily... [ ] years you know... it's not a short time and you werent even planning on telling us? true friends dont do that to each other, they tell each other stuff, stuff that is the truth... not stuff that you lie to them about and feel bad about it after that... to think we actually treated you like a good friend and trusted you so much for so many years and you think you're the victim? come on man, think about it... who gets hurt when you find out the truth after so many years huh? the truth that no one has told you for so long... the truth that was hidden from you all along... and we were the last ones to know, your "so-called good friends", who you din exactly treat that way, we were the last to know... seriously, i dont think you know the meaning of having true friends... you blame us for everything that we are doing but do you ever know why we are doing it? you make it seem like everything is our fault when you started it first... we have our reasons for doing what we are doing, we dont do it just because we feel like it... if you think of us this way, you dont really know us well... in fact you dont know us at all... you make yourself sound like the victim when you're not... you're in no position to feel angry at all... we're the ones who got hurt so stop acting like you're the victim... well, i guess you really arent such a good friend after all... and just by saying sorry wont earn this relationship back...

2006-07-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

okay i know i have been blogging quite frequently for the past few days but i cant help it cos sometimes there's really not much to do during class and the only thing i can think of to do is probably blog... hahaha anyway i think for this entry i shall just share a song (: here you go, the potter's hand (: Jesus reigns on high!!!

Beautiful Lord
Wonderful Saviour
I know for sure
all of my days are held in your hands
created into your perfect plan

You gently call me
into your presence
guiding me by
your Holy Spirit
teach me dear Lord
to live all of my life
through your eyes

I'm captured by your Holy calling
set me apart
I know you're drawing me to yourself
lead me Lord i pray

Take me
Mould me
Use me
Fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Hold me
Guide me
Lead me
Walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand

Have faith in Him and may He mould, lead and guide us into the plan He has for us... God bless!! (:

I GOT STABBED!!!

2006-07-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

okay i know i got stabbed a long time ago but yea now that i'm kinda bored and have nothing much to talk about except my painful experience during my dental appointment yesterday... haha oh well... okay later it'll be my turn to stab others... wahahaha...

The rules: Bold the statements that are true to you. Italise the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I dont watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes. [i have got to change that]
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. [I THINK...]
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart. (how i wish...)
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now. [DESPERATELY!!!]
I love sushi.
I talk really,really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas. [i'm underaged!!! haha...]
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way i look. [i'm okay with it la...]
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
I have a lot of friends. [i think i do...]
I am currently single. [and loving it (:]
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop. [but it makes me broke ):]
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat. (not really, i need food to survive too... hee)
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone. [cant do without it (:]
I believe in God. [i dance only for Him!!!]
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future. (i have NO IDEA...)
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything. (i wish...)
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger. [parents??? church people???]
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends. [they are my BEST FRIENDS!!!]
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. [yum... i'm hungry]
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time. [when there are tests that is...]
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument. [i wish i was good in piano... i'm lousy at it now ):]
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies. [depends]
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages. [i'm getting hungrier...]
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours. [depends on how BRIGHT!!!]
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing. [UH-HUH!!!]
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither. [i know imran can... hahaha]
I have ridden/owned a horse. [ridden... not owned...]
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk(swear) in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie. (i love coffee!!! starbucks!!!)
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex. [my friends!!!]
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

okay now it's my turn to stab people... wahaha...

YOU'VE BEEN STABBED: shiao, welwie, vivian, low, rongqi (:

MASS SUSPENSION!!! eek...

2006-07-17T19:57:00.000-07:00

oh well, since everybody has been blogging about this, i think i should too... haha okay so yesterday was the weirdest and most bizarre day of my life in tj (so far...) and this suspension thing involves the whole level and we were basically treated like prisoners or rather even worse than that cos we dint even have the freedom to go to the toilet on our own... sigh...

okay i shall start from the beginning when during assembly.... the long awaited words: all ta1 students, please proceed to the auditorium immediately after assembly... yep so that was the start of it and we went to the auditorium where they collected our handphones and made us turn them off... so we lost contaact with the rest of the world... and then the atmosphere being so tense, everybody just shut their mouths and waited for mrs loke to come and give her speech about this mass cheating thing from term 3 common tests. so obviously we just listened and waited and listened and waited and yea until she finished and they gave us this form thing to fill in which was supposed to let us confess if we cheated during the tests and handed it in

and guess what, we were ISOLATED in our homerooms where our CTs talked to us and many others teachers were keeping an eye on us to make sure that we dun talk and it was rather like taking an exam cos you couldnt talk and couldnt have any other papers on your table except for the form that our CT gave us yet again in our homerooms. sigh... oh well anyway, while we were in our homerooms, the principal and other teachers were reading our previous forms in the audi so we basically had to wait and wait and wait and wait in our homerooms until they were done. when we wanted to go to the toilet, we had to be ESCORTED by a teacher to the toilet. it was so serious that the toilet we used were made out of bounds to other students so that we werent in contact at all with the OUTSIDE WORLD...LITERALLY... WE COULDNT EVEN GO TO THE CANTEEN FOR BREAK!!! argh... they bought kaya bread for us and crysanthemum tea (packet) for us to eat in class... this is the first and ever time we can eat in class but it was not a good thing to be allowed to do so...

anyway, after being imprisoned for a few hours, we had to go back to the audi AGAIN!!! and mrs loke talked to us again AND this time, it was bad, some people were called to stay back from each class to talk to the teachers and some of them were with the teachers for a VERY VERY LONG TIME like for the whole morning and the whole afternoon and their parents were even called to the school... this thing really evolved (maybe EXPLODED) into a BIG BIG THING but i'm just glad it's over and that the people in my class are really fine =) i think my class had the least cases, maybe, i dunno... oh well..

darn i cant go for ballet today, have to go for health checkup and then got dental appointment after that, sigh, today is hospital day... haha it makes me sound like a really sick patient... oh well... alright now i got to pay attention to physics class before i get so lost i dunno what's going on again... haha =) yay i finally blogged, i'm happy!!! i shall do the stabbing thing another day, i think it's fun =)

2006-07-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

gosh... life is so difficult to live... my group havent even finished our lang arts play, havent practiced, havent confirmed props and the roles and our dramatisation is like next tuesday.... so we got to chiong like crazy during the weekend so yea, i hope we can get it done and make it good too... argh...

anyway, i had ballet yesterday and ms pang came late again so we basically did what we wanted to la and it was quite fun and i'm seriously deproving (is there such a word?) even though i have been going for ballet almost every single day... sigh... my pirouettes and allegro and practically every single section i feel i'm deproving in it... i feel so so... i dunno la but it's like i'm 2 months away from the this major examination and i'm DEPROVING!!! i'm really starting to panic already la... i really have to get EVERYTHING RIGHT by like next month so that i can drill and everything or else it'll be too late... I HOPE IT WONT BE TOO LATE... sigh... alright now i got to go for lesson now... shall blog again soon, maybe later in the day.... oh well... and then i shall feel remorseful about my deproving ballet skills....argh...

2006-07-09T06:06:00.000-07:00

sigh... there're so many things in this world... and friends are one of the most important yet they are also the ones who you can either lean on, or fall on... this really makes me sad because i realised, after having 2 incidents happening in my life, that you may think you know someone so well... even for 2/3s of your life, but in fact, you dont... what you have always known was just another side of the person and yet you have trusted the person so much, trusted them as such close friends and in the end, they just arent who you think they are.... i really wonder sometimes, how long it takes for anyone to get to REALLY KNOW A FRIEND... does it really have to take a whole lifetime? i really dunno...

these 2 incidents, i do not want to specify but it has made me realised how important true friends are and it has showed me who are my true friends... sometimes it might not occur to you but your closest and truest friends might have been beside you all along and you did not know... sometimes, when you finally realise it, it's already too late... but i thank the Lord for letting me realise who my true friends are and for telling me that i should really treasure them for all they have done for me... everything we've been through together, be it good or bad, shows how true and how deep a friendship can be... i guess sometimes, you just cant REALLY know a person, can you?

In a friendship, i realised that being able to talk to each other, heart to heart, is the most important thing... if you cant do that, it's going to be difficult to be true friends in future. everybody has a first time at having a heart to heart talk with a friend, or even just confessing, apologising or whatever but as long as you can talk to that friend from the bottom of your heart, i think this friendship is real. I realised it and i know there's to much more having a real friendship but it always takes time...

I thank God for letting me have such great friends, especially those in my ballet class... dedicating this to kyra and daphne: i think you guys are the greatest friends i've ever had and i really thank God for you guys...i thank Him for everything we've been through and the times we spent together (: you guys are really the BEST!!! =) THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!!! i hope we'll continue to be great friends until who knows when (:

this song from high school musical is so nice and just has so much meaning in it... and i think it kinda suits this post so i just decided to share the lyrics (: enjoy (:

it's funny when you find yourself
looking from the outside
i'm standing here but all i want
is to be over there
why did i let myself believe
miracles could happen
cause now i have to pretend
that i dun really care

i thought you were my fairytale
a dream when i'm not sleeping
a wish upon a star
that's coming true
but everybody else could tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
when there was me and you

i swore i knew the melody
that i heard you singing
and when you smiled
you made me feel
like i could sing along
but then you went and changed the words
now my heart is empty
i'm only left with used-to-be's
once upon a song

now i know your not a fairytale
and dreams were meant for sleeping
and wishes on a star
just don't come true
cause now even i can tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
because i liked the view
when there was me and you

i cant believe that
i could be so blind
it's like you were floating
while i was falling
and i didn't mind

cause i liked the view
i thought you felt it too
when there was me and you...

AHHHHHH..... 3 tests in a day... IT'S ATTEMPTED MURDER!!!

2006-07-05T18:07:00.000-07:00

gosh this is so frustrating... 3 tests in a day... seriously it's like attempted murder la... geog history and bio... all got to memorise like siao... i seriously hope that i write down the correct stuff for each subject tests cos if i dun, i am so screwed!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!

oh anyway, one thing that made me happy is ballet yesterday!!! it was really fun yesterday and for once i really got to stretch and i feel really happy about it (: we did barre and some centre stuff and we did the dance and my pirouettes are lousy but i hope i make it through my examination la.... anyway, that was not the fun part la, the fun part was actually daph leading us in floor barre... it was really fun and i really got to stretch even though i couldnt do the grand battement to the back on the floor but yea it was really fun and i'm really close to doing my left split already and i'm really happy... yesterday i tried it and i was like maybe 2 cm off the ground so yea.... i feel a sense of accomplishment (: yay!!!

oh but yesterday my parents were really really pissed off with my bro cos he's going for this test thing to go for NS next year and he has to bring alot of documents there but he did not prepare a single thing until last night and everything needed photocopying and at 9m at night, who would be willing to go out and photocopy stuff yea so in the end, my bro had to use the scanner and print and everything and my dad was shouting at him, my mum was shouting at him and he was still happily singing away in his room... so yea it made my parents really pissed with him la....

oh and i really hope i can go for the sleepover at slow's house on sunday... i bet it's going to be fun (: yay!!! and i'm going to get my IC today after school and i hope my picture will turn out nice.. okay gtg to pee with that shiao and then we're going to do a summary on everything together... i seriously hope i dun mess up.... argh...

yay!!! queensway!!!

2006-07-03T03:34:00.000-07:00

yay i went to queensway today and i'm happy cos i managed to buy my shoebag and also my fbts (: AND i studied pretty much at slow's house so that was good and i felt like i accomplished something today... well now, i'm kinda left with a little of bio and everything of geog which is still alot but i'll try my best to get it done asap cos i want to make my life easy even though it's already full of suffering but yea... darn i feel like the only subject that i learnt something is history... and that is NOT GOOD cos that means that i have to like restudying everything after i go through my work once and that makes me feel that my life is not going to be better and it makes me feel depressed and DEPRAVED OF A LIFE so i shall stop this nonsense now and not talk about studying cos i'm going to do it later and right now i just want to blog in peace... oh well.. anyway i hope i can get an excuse from ms lee tmr or something so that i dun have to go for ms wee's technique classes on tuesdays cos i wanna go for ballet... i seriously need to train la.... argh, exam's in september and it's so rush... i seriously hope i do well for my inters cos if i dun, i'll just kill myself... it's one of the most important examinations in ballet and if i flunk this... argh... i dun even want to think about it... i hope i can get a distinction for inter unlike my inter found which was so close to getting my distinction but i just had to miss it by that little bit... argh... and i hope my exam is NOT ON THE FIRST DAY like last year... argh... horrible... you're basically the first to experience everything and to see the examiner and to see if she's nice or evil or something... okay right now... time's up gtg... at least i managed to blog a little before i go mugging again... and later during my break, i'm gonna so blog on my livejournal... yay (:

2006-06-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

gosh today is NOT a good day... bio really defeated me and so did language arts ): but maths and chem pulled me out of that pathetic situation and i survived today in one piece... i am so happy that today is almost over... sometimes i just cant wait to step out of school... sometimes i just wished i could disappear... sometimes i want to just drop out of school so that i can stop studying and worrying about my results and everything... schoolling is so stressful especially in Singapore... gosh if only i was born somewhere else... maybe aussie would be nice... hahaha... but well, thanks to all the friends i have with me that really make my life colourful and for me to push on from day to day... big hug and many thanks to my friends for supporting me always (: you guys are the greatest...

thank you Lord for putting me here and please Lord, let me be a shining light for you, let me grow to be more like You everyday as you lead me in my walk with You... guide me Lord and mould me into whatever you want me to be... help me in whatever i do Lord so that i will be able to live my life for you. in Jesus' name i pray, amen.

Lord i offer my life to you
everything i've been through
use it for your glory

Lord i offer my days to you
lifting my praise to you
as a living sacrifice
Lord i offer you my life

Lord, use me for Your purpose...

re-opened blog (:

2006-06-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

okay i re-opened my blog... and now i have my lj and my blog... that's good... i like it this way.. oh well at least my blog is not screwed now... it was so screwed yesterday when i was changing the blogskin and i got so frustrated i decided to just delete it la... hahaha...

oh well and now we're have lang arts and i'm not paying attention at all cos i'm totally not in the mood... gosh i cant believe i failed my compre this bad... i hope i do better for mov quiz next week and whatever compres i have coming up... sigh... oh well...

all right i think i should stop now and blog another time... i'm really bored now and i just wish lang arts can end faster... sigh... oh yea my lj is http://dance2worship.com, please go visit and comment (: thanks people!!!